A boss babe balanced life is mastered by being “fierce, floral & feminine”. I learned the hard way, but it is possible to stay true to your female energy in a man’s world.
In business I was taught to have thick skin and keep my feelings to myself. I was told I had to work harder than guys to be recognized. For ten years I’ve been and independent consultant for publicly traded mining companies, a male dominated industry. I wanted to be respected and prove I was as capable as any man. My determination to achieve this revealed a side that some saw as harsh and aloof. Like many women I spent years striving for equality in every aspect of my life. Then a few years ago, I realized that while focusing on being seen as “equal” had lost a part of my feminine side.
I’m a huge advocate of work & life balance. Yet for years I had been denying myself the balance of femininity. I filled every second of my day with work or tasks; I had zero patience for small talk and chitchat. Except for my close friends I was detached and had surface conversations and relationships. I couldn’t watch TV without channel surfing and I didn’t feel empathetic towards others or myself.
If you find yourself struggling with any of these, here are a few simple tips I used to help nurture back my feminine energy:
1- Enjoy the process: First and foremost, you don’t have to be Wonder Woman and you don’t have to do it all, RIGHT NOW. I’m working full-time and building a new business. Maybe you’re working full time and going to school. Maybe you’re a single mom working and raising kids. Whatever your situation, you’re busting your ass and hustling to make your dreams come. But ladies, cut yourself some slack, there is no final destination, so enjoy the journey.
2. Take time for yourself: Before if I had a bad day, felt irritated with a situation or stuck on a project I’d force myself to work through it and try to come up with a solution. This would make things worse. Now I take a deep breath, pour myself a large glass of wine and get in the bathtub. With a clear mind I tackle problems in a more creative and effective way.
3. Morning ritual: Every morning (before checking my phone or emails) I take 5-10 minutes to practice gratitude, this helps to keep me in check when negative situations pop up during the day. Once I have a coffee I take another 5 more minutes to prioritize my day. I list out EVERYTHING I need to do, then narrow down 3-5 things I MUST DO! This helps me navigate my day and stay focused on what most important.
4. Activities: I do things that embrace traditional feminine energies like watching a romance movie, going to the spa or getting my nails done. I like getting dressed up and going out for a girl’s night out or stepping into nature. I find engaging in any creative activities really gets me in touch with my feelings: painting, drawing, music, writing or even reading a book of poems.
5. Accept compliments: when someone say something nice, I accept it wholeheartedly by saying “Thank you”. Feel grateful and recognize the person that spoke up. I like to reciprocate a kind word and make a difference in someone’s day!
6. DRESS THE PART: Three years ago I only had black and grey clothes in my closet, which I thought fit the thick-skinned, all-business persona I was trying to portrait. Floral prints, pinks and pastels were for “girly girls”… But as I embraced my feminine energy I let myself dress “How I felt” by infusing my wardrobe with colorful scarfs and shoes. As time went on I felt lighter and happier when I was wearing color and that gave me the confidence to be more daring. Now I have a rainbow of dresses beside my “little black dress” in my closet.
Stepping outside my comfort zone and connecting with my feminine energy did not happen overnight; it took time and courage but conquering fears and challenges always makes me feel FIERCE!